The media circus that is Ash’s life clearly hasn’t been enough. Director Shakil Saifi is now filming a movie about the Bollywood queen’s life – complete with fan hysteria, illicit love affairs, and her astronomical wealth. The movie centers about a love triangle amongst Ash, Salman Khan, and Abishek Bachhan. We’re all hoping Saifi won’t toss in an irrelevant dance sequence at crucial moments to mask truths about Ash’s life – or to get her through those tough times when her mascara smudged. But, alas, the Bachhan censor board may blot out unsavory parts of the movie (Ash without her makeup on, Ash not smiling, etc). It is reported that Saifi couldn’t snag Ash herself for the role because of his budget. The true is reason might be that Ash playing herself in a half-fiction movie about her own life is just…disturbing. Not to mention, the sheer arrogance of such a move would send her approval ratings lower than President Bush’s. Saifi has chosen Ashwini Kale for the role – a fair resemblance, but Ashwini’s got some enormous shoes to fill. She must learn to play the diva, act the star, and tilt her (color-contacted) eyes in that seductive way that only Ash has. It is the chance that any 13 year old Indian girl would die for – to be Aishwarya Rai for an hour.